Because it often happens that one person can change my outlook. So, at least try. Thanks in advance… and bear with me. I’ll try to make it short…
I’m 18. My hubby is 25. Our daughter is 14 months. His daughter is 4 1/2 years.
His ex hates my guts and her and her friends talk shyt on me all the time.
But she left her daughter for 3 whole months with her mom to go off with some guy in another city.
She still lives with her mom (and dad, sister, nephew, fiance, and 2 other ppl) all 300+ lbs
No job, no aspirations. Gets state assistance and child support.
They let the 4 yr old do basically anything. Eat straight butter. The goo outta glo sticks. You name it.
Now before you start asking about ME, I’ll tell you in as short as possible. Found the hubby, fell in love after 2 weeks, engaged at a month, pregnant at 4 months, married a week after that. Pregnancy sucked because of morning sickness I got my ged. Became a SAHM. Never been gone from her for a minute. Don’t smoke or drink or party or do drugs. Take care of 100% her like a mother is supposed to. Keep the house spotless. I massage my hubby every day before work. Make him coffee and breakfast. All of it. 100%. And I don’t mind, because I know someday I’ll get to do me and this is the life I chose and I’m living it. Very well. So I’m not the typical teen mom. I don’t even consider myself a teen. It’s just a technicality that no one gets.
Anyways. We moved 400 miles away from our home town and have to spend $1500 a month to see his kid for 3 days which he only gets to see her 11 hours of because of her mother who purposely take her out of town the first and last day. My baby and I visit my mother and sister while he sees his kid because we are not welcome there in any way.
I really want to change custody to where I can get to see her too and where she can come stay with us a weekend or a week or something like since she’s about to start school– during the summer, xmas and spring break, and us visit her whenever we can. Ya know? It’d be so much simpler and more accomodating to all. But my hubby thinks there will be too much rivalry between them if she stayed here. And he doesn’t want the child support amount to change (since it was put seperately at $500 a month flat in the divorce decree) but I don’t think it could since it was agreed upon, I think she would have to appeal it seperately, just as we would have to appeal the visitation.
Plus I am having medical issues with future fertility and I definitely want another child, but we’re afraid that if we wait much longer, it won’t be possible as cervical, uterine, and/or ovary cancer strikes everyone in our family history before the age of 21. I would want a 100% healthy pregnancy and the only way to ensure that is to do it now, while I’m still healthy. But I’m having second thoughts now because of how little I feel we see him. He is supposed to work 7 days on, 7 days off. But lately, he’s been working an extra day set in. So it’s 8 on, 6 off. But on top of that, once a month he has to work an extra 3 days making it 11 on, 3 off. Those weeks we don’t travel to see her. So on the rare occasion he gets a full 6 days off, it’s wonderful. But usually it’s 4-5. So once sometimes twice a month we go down there and rent a hotel for 2 nights and stay 3 days. Most of that time he is with her, or otherwise occupied (I don’t remember specifics. All I know is he’s not with us) or we spend a tiny bit of time together (mnts, zoo, etc) which is nice. But we never really have any time to just be at home. It’s always rush rush rush. Plus the 10 hour ride down there (we go at night so it’s less traumatic because she loathes car seats). 40 hrs in a truck a month. Wow. That is a lot of wasted time. I hate it.
Plus, at home, I don’t have a TX drivers license, because I’m scared to drive in big cities alone. Traffic scares me. I do ok when he is with me, but otherwise, well, I wouldn’t know. But I’m braving up and getting one this week, along with a car to call my own.
And he is switching to night shifts permanently so we get him in the afternoon 1-2 hrs when he works.
I very much appreciate your help/advice. What should I do about all this?
Oh and we move once a year. His work migrates. Oilfield.
Would that make us “unstable” in court of law?
